My life - one hour, one minute at a time.

Life never ceases to fascinate me. The fact that I can wake up feeling one way, and just a few hours later everything has changed, baffles me. I never really know what to expect or what’s going to happen. Maybe that comes with being sober all the time. Perhaps this is just a new phenomenon to me. Maybe I’m just getting reacquainted with something that everyone else is already aware of. The how or why isn’t really important I guess, just the fact that it happens is staggering to me.

Take today for example. I woke up in a great mood – as I do most days, realizing the future is right in front of me and every step I take dictates the path I’ll travel. I ended up spending lunch with my ex-wife. Now I know that sounds strange to a lot of people – and believe me when I say I get a lot of flak about it. But it’s important to me to remain friends with her. That’s much easier said than done, though. Today was a great example of that. It was not a good lunch. It was essentially me paying for us to argue in public. I try not to fight, but it’s difficult to be friends when there’s so much history – good and bad. But that’s a process we’ll work through for the rest of our lives. As long as we can work through problems, differences of opinion and resentment, I think we’re headed the right direction – for us and for our kids. Anyway, I’m rambling.

Needless to say I left lunch in a very bad mood. I stopped on the way home and bought beer. A very bad move. I didn’t drink it though. I sat it in the floor and looked at it. What those bottles represent to me – there’s nothing positive about them. It’s a means of escape – and much like I’ve been doing for many years, I wanted to just escape and find happiness in the bottom of an empty bottle. But for some reason I didn’t.

For whatever reason, instead of drinking I decided to check my email and spend my time doing something else. I was floored at my inbox. I had multiple messages from folks, some old friends and some I hope to be friends with in the future – people that just read my blog. They were wonderful. It really put my life in perspective. There was a Russell of the past, and there’s Russell today. And I was dangerously close to slip-sliding back to where I didn’t want/need to be. It touched me to know there are so many people reading and enjoying my blog. I truly appreciate all of you.

Tucked away in those emails though, was a note from someone in my past that is so special to me. I have spent years looking for this person. I am so happy to have them back in my life. As I sat there and looked at these beautiful messages in front of me and the alcohol behind me – I realized the difference an hour can make. Every decision we make has consequences – not just for us, but the people around us as well. And I sincerely thank you all for your decision to read my ramblings and watch me stumble through this crazy thing called life – one hour, one minute at a time.

“Your time is limited, so don't waste it living someone else's life. Don't be trapped by dogma - which is living with the results of other people's thinking. Don't let the noise of other's opinions drown out your own inner voice. And most important, have the courage to follow your heart and intuition. They somehow already know what you truly want to become. Everything else is secondary.”

I’ve been thinking about time a lot lately, more specifically my lack thereof. It’s really kind of strange – I went from sitting around the house doing nothing for about a month, to being so busy I can’t get everything accomplished that I need to. It’s really been quite the paradigm shift. As I get older, it’s also dawning on me that time is slip-sliding away much more quickly than I realized.

I probably say that because I am getting very near to being 30 – and while that scares the hell out of me, it’s not the only thing that’s been making me look at time in a new light. I, against my better judgement, sat down and did a kind of age comparison against my classmates the other day. Essentially I figured out that while I was on temporary duty in Bosnia for the good ole’ Air Force (off we go into the wild, blue yonder) – my classmates were 7. That puts time in perspective. Although what really scares me is knowing that was more than 10 years ago. Where did that time go?

It’s easy to get caught in routines and patterns and then time has a way of just slipping away. It makes me glad I’ve decided to come back to school, if for no other reason than changing my pattern and my life. Now I’m making the most of my time. Happiness seems to have some correlation to the passing of time as well. Remember in high school when everyone couldn’t wait to leave or graduate? Time moved at a snail’s pace. But whnever we do something we enjoy, time seems to go by incredibly fast. I wonder if that’s just our mind playing tricks on us. Perception is strange, I guess.

All I know for sure is that time is really the only limited commodity we have. The loss of time and eventually life is one of the only shared characteristics of all life. I say that in hopes that you make the most of all your time – make every day and every second count. Don’t wake up and wonder what happened to the last 10 years. Don’t allow yourself to lose sight of your goals and dreams. As Ralph Waldo Emerson said, “Nothing great can be accomplihed without enthusiasm.” Take hold of your dreams and use your time efficiently to reach and fulfill them. I know I am.

Put that damn iPhone away and quit blogging!

College – It’s worse than I imagined it would be. These kids are, well…kids. Of course, they look so young to me. But worse off, they act so young.
Was I a douchebag when I was 18? Did I act like I didn’t care about anything other than myself and my pursuit of the opposite sex? I can’t answer that question fairly because that’s all I care about still – but I would venture it was.
So why do I care? I guess this class has just made me realize that I am offically not young anymore. Sure, I’m not 40 – but I sure as hell ain’t 18 either.
It’s odd – I walked in feeling vibrant, young and spry. I’ll walk out feeling the exact opposite. Maybe it was time. If being 18 and young means acting like these kids, I’ll keep my age, my gut an my Night Ranger cassettes and like it.
So here I sit in class blogging (thank you WordPress application for my phone!) Oh! Got to run! The teacher is yelling at me to put up my iPhone! And the other kids are laughing because the old guy got in trouble…

It's alright, ladies! I'm studying to be a doctor!

College. Once again I am going to school. I’ve only seriously tried to go to college one time before and I did quite well. However I met a woman and well…my priorities shifted. But here I am, many, many, MANY years later making my triumphant return to the land of frats and football. Honestly, the whole thing has kind of got me freaked out.

I’m not going to school to make friends – what could I possibly have in common with 18-year olds? – I’m going to focus on getting a degree. But I am MUCH older than the kids I’ll be in class with. Approximately 12-years older if I still remember how to do math. That’s a noticeable difference. For God’s sake, these kids don’t know how to denim-wash jeans, they don’t know what Crystal-Clear Pepsi was and worst of all they have NO respect for the A-Team or the Muppets. I am going to officially be the “creepy old guy.”

It’s a strange spot for me to be in. I’ve always felt young at heart, and I realize I’m not actually that old, but relatively speaking I’m ancient. I’m the giant sequoia of school. For God sakes, they’re going to hate me because I’ll study and ruin the curve! Oh well, I’ll have to manage. I won’t be comfortable, but that’s not why I am there. Who knows? I might meet some cool people. I’d like to say I’m going to keep my eye on the prize – getting my degree finally. But I’m a “it’s the journey, not the destination” kind of a guy.

Just remember, especially my younger friends and readers out there, that when you see that old dude in class – be nice to him. We have feelings too. I promise to not ask stupid questions, and I’ll try not to flirt with your women – just don’t grief me too much about the hair growing out of my ears and my frequent trips to the bathroom – the bladder doesn’t work as well as it once did. Hopefully my mind will.

No need for words here. Just watch. And try not to pee on yourself.

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Anyone that knows me can tell you I am a film fanatic. I try to watch as many movies as I can, from all types of genres, as quickly as I can. I love film as a medium. It’s a phenomenal way to tell a story/make a point, etc. But I have my dark side. My favorite films? They’re not dramas, or documentaries, or even the films that move and motivate us. I am a huge connoisseur of two styles: Film Noir and Blaxploitation. I’m not going to explain them to you – just click the links and read the wiki on these two genres.

Film Noir’s still exist, although they aren’t released with the frequency of their heyday -the late 40′s and early 50′s. Modern examples include 1989′s The Big Easy, the 1997 smash L.A. Confidential and the 2002 film Road to Perdition. Blaxploitation films, on the other hand, aren’t really made at all anymore. They stereotyped blacks and whites so badly that many groups (NAACP, Urban League and more) effectively banned the genre. Shaft, The Mack, Blacula and The Human Tornado are all classics.

This is the trailer from my favorite Blaxploitation film OF ALL TIME – “Black Belt Jones.” I put it up in the hopes that some of you might actually decide to check out this genre of film. And because I like it. Enjoy!

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Many thanks to toplessrobot.com for finding this gem floating around You Tube.

I love Mr. T. It all started when I was a bright-eyed grade school student and saw B.A. Barracus driving around that pimped-out van with the A-Team. I later saw Rocky and thought that Mr. T was awesome. I was right. I really enjoy his positive attitude and outlook on life. In a day where good people and role models are hard to come by, he is one of a kind. That’s my opinion and why I like him.

Having said that, I present you with a Snickers advertisement that Mr. T did that aired overseas. (Mainly Australia, I think.) This ad has been called homophobic, immoral and several other fun words. What do you think? I know Mr. T didn’t write any of this – but should he have known better? Does it offend you? Is it innappropriate?

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God Bless the American Worker! And God Bless the Unions that fight for their rights. We need more unions in America, and here’s why…

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Apparently this was an alternate take done at the time this commercial was produced. It kind of sounds like the guys from Car Talk.

Sweet skins for your electronic devices!

I found a really cool site the other day I want to tell everyone about  – GelaSkins. They sell artist-designed removable skins for laptops, cellphones (iPhones and RAZR’s), iPods, Sony PSP’s, Nintendo DS’s and more. While these things can get a little pricey, they quality and look are awesome. Again, these are artist designed. You want ‘Starry, Starry Night’ to cover your laptop? Done.

They have a ton of modern art from up and coming artists in several mediums – modern, digital, even tattoo artist. They also have some of the classics for you to choose from – Monet, M.C. Escher, Munch and Van Gogh. This is a really sweet way to spruce up an otherwise visually boring device. I’m trying to decide on what to get for my new laptop I just ordered.

Since I mentioned my new laptop (which I got from TigerDirect), let me give everyone who’s not an uber-geek like me a tip. Go to the two big Internet dealers for computer parts, Tiger Direct and NewEgg, and take a look around. These are great technology companies that buy and sell in bulk so you can get GREAT prices. Plus, in most states there’s no tax. (I feel obligated to point out that when filling out your state taxes they DO ask you to list all Internet purchases so you can be taxed on them at that point. Just covering my bases here.)

My new laptop - I am SO stoked!

I got my laptop, a Gateway M-1625 for less than $500. It runs Windows Vista Home Premium  with an AMD Turion™ 64 X2 Dual-Core 2.0GHz processor, 2GB 667 MHz DDR2 SDRAM memory, and a 250GB 5400RPM SATA hard drive. For the geeks out there it also boasts an 8X multi-format dual layer DVDRW with DVD-RAM and Labelflash™ drive, WXGA (1280 x 800) TFT display, 802.11g wireless LAN, a 1.3-megapixel webcam, 5-in-1 memory card reader, three USB 2.0 ports, and a HDMI connector.

Why so cheap? It’s a refurbished computer. That means that it is still under warranty and the internal workings of the CPU are fine. Someone simply mailed it back due to a cosmetic flaw. That knocked $250 off of the retail price. There are bargains out there. Tiger Direct sells Gateway’s refurbs, Dell sells there own at the Dell Outlet, and Compaq and HP are on NewEgg and Tiger Direct. Take a look around the sites, there are a ton of good deals to be had. We all need them in a timed where our dollar gets less and less.

So give me a shout and let me know if you find any great deals or if you can help me decide which GelaSkin to get!

The price of gas in ridiculous these days. We all are feeling the pinch in these tough times. There’s absolutely no need to rub it in. Just give me a WWEMD bracelet (What Would Exxon Mobile Do?) and everytime I see it I’ll throw some money away and kick myself in the nuts.

The Antichrist arrives in the form of gas pumps

Photo courtesy of my homeboy, Chris Pirillo.